This morning my big sister called me an unkempt, homeless, ape-like child-molester, 80′s porn star, washed-up-and-over-the-hill footballer. Normally, I ignore comments like that from my big sister (but miniature in size) but this time, I took pause and noted that she called me a footballer! Forget the prefix of “washed-up-and-over-the-hill”, she called me a footballer. Now, most of you might think this is odd that I take great pride in receiving this feedback from my sis, but I work in IT and I’m always looking for ways to balance out my inner nerd. Although I have the height and physique to play footy, I never really was any good at it. In fact I am so bad that when I play football there is a team rule that I should never try and kick the ball – true story. But enough about that, the moral of the story is that Movember gives a guy the glorious ability to take a positive out of anything.
So how is my Mo going? Well, I have inadvertently taken measures to ensure that the legacy of my mo will survive well into December. By this I mean that over the weekend, I may have spent a little too much time under the Australian sun causing me to walk around with a face the colour of a beetroot! What I didn’t realise was that I will be sporting a wonderful “mo” tan line post the end of November. I will be sporting a white mo, loud and proud, until I spend a few sessions fixing my tan line….wow I’m beginning to sound like a girl! I didn’t realise that being an office dandy has robbed me of my immunity to UV rays. Whilst I wear sunscreen, the effects of the sun have been magnified since spending most days holed up in an office building with few windows (no it’s not a jail), and now I turn a less than attractive shade of pink after one hour of the sun. Note to self: getting immersed in Sci-Fi novels whilst exposed to sun is dangerous. As you can see from the photo below, the tan line will be quite noticeable.
They do say c’est la vie and being Movember, there can only be benefits from partaking in such a faux pas. What I’m taking away from this particular sun tanning mishap is that I can use the various products available to help soothe the wrongdoings of the sun. Having recently equipped myself with an arsenal of shaving accessories and products, I had the creative genius to apply L’Oreal moisturising aftershave to my sunburn. It is meant to be ‘Expert Hydra Energetic’ after all, and my stinging skin felt like it could do with some of that. Mission success! The blissful cooling sensation usually reserved for post-shave events which is delivered by the aforementioned product can be spread to a much larger area of the body and with greater intensity. I have since been reliably informed that aloe vera (which I had to Google to 1: spell correctly, and 2: learn what an aloe vera is) makes summer tanning sessions what they are today. Step aside rulebook, aftershave is about to take a new place in the world.
How am I tracking with my Movember objectives? Number one: getting away with the mo at work. So far this is going well. By well I mean that people openly laugh at me, point at me from across the floor, and generally treat me as if I am a completely different person from what I was two weeks ago. Nothing out of the spirit of Movember. However by some stroke of luck I have a meeting scheduled with the only guy in the office who disapproves of Movember. He also happens to be my bosses, bosses, bosses, boss, and is the reason my bosses boss didn’t do Movember this year. My sole hope lies in the fact that in the corporate food chain, I am plankton. Thus I hope to be too insignificant for him to notice… a foolproof plan.
In closing I feel I must share (boast) the highpoint of my day with you all. An older gentleman used the term ‘luscious’ to describe my mo. To be more specific he said something along the lines of “My favourite mo is Allan’s because it is the most luscious.” I believe that this will be the first, last, and only time that any part of me is referred to as ‘luscious,’ and I intend to revel in it fully.
I look forward to updating you all next week and a reminder that my MoSpace can be accessed at http://mobro.co/AllanClinch
Live long and prosper!